On Oct. 16, 2021, Eden Prairie High School’s DECA group devoted its Powderpuff football fundraiser to raising money for suicide prevention. The group chose that because of Jonas. Between games, Jonas’s friends read the following, written by someone who has no clue what she’s talking about: me.
“Hi! We’re all friends of Jonas Wagner, who died by suicide a few months ago. His family asked us to share some important information with you tonight.
First of all, thank you. The Wagners are SO grateful to the DECA students and advisors for choosing mental health awareness and suicide prevention for this year’s powderpuff fundraiser. They’d also like to thank school staff for their support throughout Jonas’s life, and after his death.
The Wagner family cares about you, and ALL students in Eden Prairie. This event is NOT about Jonas; it’s about helping other students who may be in a similar position and not see a way out. Jonas wasn’t a hero, but his life and death may inspire heroic acts in others.
Suicide is preventable. Mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety or mood disorders are often a factor in suicide. Remind yourself and others that these are TREATABLE conditions.
Mental health is health. Treat mental health conditions the same as you would physical conditions. If you had a broken leg or tumor, you’d see a doctor. Mental health is no different. We can’t see it on the outside but something INSIDE needs attention. And like physical illnesses, mental illnesses can be treated with changes in lifestyle, therapy and medication.
Suicide doesn’t have one single cause. In addition to mental health issues, sometimes specific situations trigger suicidal actions, such as a painful break-up, conflicts with friends, failing in school, being bullied, or experiencing abuse, loss or other trauma.
Whatever the causes, know the warning signs of suicide, such as withdrawing or feeling isolated; having extreme mood swings; physical changes in appearance or hygiene; sudden drop in grades; talking about feeling hopeless, trapped or in unbearable pain; or self-harm behaviors such as cutting.
If you or someone you know are distressed or showing signs of suicide, ACT. NEVER ignore the signs of suicide. Acknowledge what’s going on. Don’t keep secrets or promise to keep secrets. Safety requires telling an adult who can help. Even if you’re not sure exactly what’s going on, TALK to someone. Be SAFE, not sorry.
If you’re in pain right now, take a deep breath and listen.
You’re not alone. No matter how overwhelmed or hopeless you feel right now, you are not alone. Some of the finest, most admired, most loved, needed and talented people have been where you are now.
It’s okay to not be okay. Having mental health issues or feeling suicidal are not character defects, and they don’t mean that you’re crazy, weak or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.
This pain is temporary. Problems will come and go, and so will the pain. Trust that time and support from others WILL get you through this. If you can’t think of solutions other than suicide, it’s not that other solutions don’t exist, but you just can’t SEE them right now because pain is distorting your thinking.
It’s important to ask for help. Don’t let fear, shame or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. If the first person you reach out to doesn’t seem to understand, try someone else. Find the courage to open up. If it’s too difficult to talk about, write a note or send an email or text.
You have your whole life ahead of you. No matter what your situation, there are people who need you, places where you can make a difference, and experiences that can remind you that life is worth living. There are sights, sounds and experiences in life that will delight and lift you. It’s not too late to learn coping skills and find the strength to keep going.
Take hope. Most people who feel the way you do, get through this. Just give yourself the time needed, and don’t try to go it alone.
Finally, if you or anyone you know are in urgent emotional distress or suicidal crisis, there’s a Lifeline available 24/7 to help. It’s free and it’s confidential. Before you leave tonight, put the Lifeline phone number into your contacts. Parents, you too. You’ll see the 800 number on wristbands and stickers.
On behalf of the Wagner family, thank you SO much for coming to this event to raise money for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. They hope you leave tonight knowing that Jonas’s life matters … and so does yours.”